I couldn’t resist. Here’s my faves, (complete list after the jump):
- Your closet is filled with black clothes.
- You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
- You can walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7.
- You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer’s speaking.
- You’ve been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.
- You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
- $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
- You don’t notice sirens anymore.
- The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
- You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.
- You’re willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.
- There is no North and South… It’s either Uptown or Downtown.
- You’re not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
- Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.
- You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that
you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other
passenger’s hats. - Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet….
- To cross the street, you
wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it, rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk . - Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is
Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese,
your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek,
the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was
Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy
is Egyptian.






